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Thursday, April 20, 2006

Mood swinging today again, as usual. Just felt so moody and all. Sorry people. I'll try to be nice.

Yeah, Kovan today with Char and Liting. Studied. It was quite productive for me i guess. Then we talked. I feel so much better after crying. Yes i know I'm supposed to be strong, but even the strongest person falls. But I'll not allow myself to fall so easily again, no matter how tempting it is. I'm not in a right state of mind now i think. I'm being so pessimistic even though I know I shouldn't. But I really can't help it. All the things happening around me have made me so disillusioned.

Frankly speaking, I'm immune to certain things. They just keep happening over and over again. The words that are said before are over used and they have completely lost their original meaning. I have totally lost count of the same old thing. And I'm very sick of it. I don't see why I should even bother believing when not long later, its all back to square one. I'm trying to have faith, but circumstances make me lose it. Urrghhhhh!!! And save all the "I'll be there for you, etc" crap. Its just empty talk and plain nonsense. If you really meant it, you'd be there a zillion years ago and actually bother to find out wth is wrong. You wouldn't just sit back, get on with your life and pretend that everything's alright. Instead, you would really listen and really care and give GOOD advice. That to me, is what a real friend should do. But then again, real friends don't even exist. There's only one person in the world who would always be there, and that's yourself. At least now I know. Its not too late.

PFT tomorrow. Its gonna suck especially when the standard's being raised like oh so high. And cheena oral on saturday. I'm so dead la. I need more study sessions away from home. I can study better that way.

One day, I'm so gonna burst and become anti social. I seriously can't take it anymore. This is killing me. I feel so suffocated. But I'm not going to escape. It doesn't help. Even so, I don't have the strength to face all these. I'm really really tired. A break will do me good, but no one's ever gonna leave me alone. They just simply piss me off with their actions or with what things they say. I can't ask them to shut up or stop whatever shit they're doing cause as I said, people tend to misunderstand.

And I repeat, I HATE it when people keep hitting me time and time again. It gets annoying especially when I'm in a bad mood so bug off. Also, please leave me alone and save your irritating comments elsewhere, I don't have the time and mood to actually go listen to these rubbish. Okay, this is a very long entry. So yeah, bye.



It seems like I'm always giving and not taking.
It sucks but that's the hard fact of life.